mrpetermore.com: Repository: Terms and Conditions


Terms and Conditions

  1. DEFINITIONS: you, the person or persons staring at the screen or having these images directly into your brain (hereafter known as "the reader"); I, the writer, developer, artist, designer, webmaster and owner of this site (hereafter known as "us"); mrpetermore.com (hereafter known as "the site"); John, Paul, George and Ringo (hereafter known as "the Beatles"); the definite article, singular and plural (hereafter known as "the").
  2. DISCLAIMER: Material on this site requires an adult mind and a mature outlook on life. Logical and factual errors WERE correct at going to press, but somehow got changed on the way to your computer. The author of these pages is NOT responsible for any harm, damage, pain, discomfort, embarrassment, humiliation, scalding or boredom you may experience wile reading it. If you are easily offended, of a religious disposition, short of temper or under the age of consent, we suggest you do not read any of the large text above this bit and perhaps browse somewhere else such as www.satanspetgangbang.com.
  3. FONT: This font is intentionally the smallest one available because by law all legal text must be unreadable by the elderly and short sighted. It must also be difficult for those with full eyesight to read it. This is in conjunction with Chapter 91, section 5, paragraph B01 of the document "Keep Lawyers In Work."
  4. DISCRIMINATION: This site does not discriminate against those of differing age, gender, race, religious inclination, and size. It does discriminate against those with POOR EYESIGHT, LOW IQ and TASTE. Oh and I think we take a swipe at the Belgians somewhere.
  5. BROWSER COMPATIBILITY: This page may present problems for Internet Explorer 4.0 and earlier. This is in accordance with official Internet standards. These problems were reintroduced as standard in Internet Explorer 5.5. Firefox may give up on certain things as well, because it's quite young. This page was designed to be viewed on an ADM3A terminal attached to a Gould minicomputer running PCOS with a resolution of 10 x 5 pixels. With any other configuration, you're on your own. Pages use Java, CSS, Flash, HTML and Text. Please note not all browsers support Text.
  6. HOT LESBIAN ACTION: see, we got your attention. This site does not include any direct incidences of "hot lesbian action" (hereafter known as "hot lesbian action"), although there probably are one or two hidden references. All "hot lesbian action" should be directed to "us."
  7. NERDINESS: reading up to and including this paragraph is perceived in law as complete admission of nerdiness. All rights to being considered a person with "social skills displaying more than the minimum level required to show worthiness of existence" (hereafter known as "a life") have been forfeited in perpetuity.
  8. INTENTION: This site intends to be all things to all men, as well as everything to every woman and each to his or her own. If it fails in any way, or if it actually achieves this, please contact the person responsible. Address lawsuits to isue@microsoft.com. Please note this site does not include medical or psychiatric records.
  9. PRIVACY: mrpetermore.com promises not to: sell your email address to spammers; send you unwanted information about V5gra, C1AL)S or other products (herbal or otherwise) intended to improve your generally poor sexual performance; request you send bank details to help us get 5 million dollars out of Nigeria; post pictures of celebrities showing their rude bits taken by the paparazzi or even by the popery; intrude on the personal lives of your children including, but not exclusively, such acts as taking photos of them, stealing their candy, and requesting their help in locating a fictitious, lost puppy; break into your house for the express purpose of watching you sleep.
  10. SOUL: reading all 10 terms and conditions is a defacto, explicit agreement that the management of the site are the full legal owners of your soul (hereafter known as "the soul") with which they are free to do what they wish, including, but not exclusively, the selling of the soul on to such soul dealing agencies as Beelzebub and Google.

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